It was peaceful for a few days and I am very thankful for it, but as always it was only the calm before the storm. As I sit here and pour my thoughts onto the computer screen (in the old days it would have been onto paper) it occurs to me that I must sound like a horrible mother. I write about my children and sometimes I realize that there is a lot of anger in my remarks, but there is also much hurt and much despair.
Last night was another round of drama; but, before I go into last night I must give a little background on my daughter's relationship with each other and Friday's episode. The relationship between my daughters has always been strained! My oldest was three when her sister was born. I'm not sure if the resentment started then or if it was something that grew over the years. As they grew up, the oldest had trouble with school work, the youngest excelled (elementary school), the oldest was treated harsely by her father, the youngest seemed to be daddy's little girl, the youngest sang in public, the oldest couldn't carry a tune, and so it has gone on and on like this for years. As they became teenagers and young adults they have turned the drugs, alcohol and worthless men to relieve their demons. So Friday's meltdown was between my two daughters!
More background: I believe I've mentioned in previous post that my youngest daughter is living in our home with her three children and the boyfriend has also been staying with us. Let me explain how this came about and then I will go into the fight between my daughters. Once upon....just joking, it was only 5 years ago that my daughter was at the end of another bad relationship and she moved back in with us. At the time we lived in a 16 X 80 mobile home. So my husband and I decided to purchase a doublewide (manufactured home) and we would sell the older home to our daughter. She had a job and recieved child support from two of her children's fathers, our deal was if she went to college (unwed mother, she could get grants) she could live there for free, if whe wasn't in school we expected her to pay notes...also, if she moved a man into her home that man would have to pay rent. So in 5 years she went through 2 relationships and between the 2 we were paid for the mobile home. So she lives in a paid for home, only has utilities and lot rent. However, once she met her current boyfriend 3 years ago, life has been going downhill for her.
Before she met "him" she had one semester of school behind her (had a 4.0) and was in her second semester. She wasn't happy in her current relationship when she met up with "him". So the boyfriend was kicked out and she moved this one in. This guy doesn't work, he receives a little money from disability. So, during the time they are together, neither one will work for any time period at all. They live off her decreasing child support (only one of the father's is now paying) and his disbility. So a few months ago she feels that he had an affair, she eventually gets him to admit it, kicks him out and begins a month ordeal of staying high from "ice"...So in the long run she comes to a point where she can no longer pay her utilities and asked to move in with us until she can find a job and get on her feet. When her electric is turned off, I go to get her...and she looked horrible. I asked if she was on drugs and she admitted everything. At that point, I wanted to help her if I could. I was terrified that she wouldn't be able to kick this habit, but I still opened my door for her and the grandkids.
So she moves in and there were a few turmultuous days with her still on drugs, but eventually she stopped doing those after a few weeks. But during this time, she is constantly letting the boyfriend, who she now is starting to believe slept with 3 or 4 people...come back around and they are constantly fighting. When she thinks he slept with someone, she badgers him until he eventually admits to it.. Truthfully I don't think the boy could get that many women to sleep with him, even if they were sluts! I mean he isn't anything special...So she has now accused him of sleeping with her sister and he has admitted to it, not once but off and on for the past 3 years!! So, because he admits to all this, she can forgive him (except that she is forever flying into rages). Oh, I forgot to mention that he did not move in with her at the onset, but a few weeks ago he fell off of a roof and broke his foot. At the time he was in an argument with his brother who he had been staying with so my hubby felt sorry for him and let him start staying in our home with her.
So with background somewhat complete, let me get onto last Friday. My youngest believes in getting even, so it seems that she is making the boyfriend tell people what he did (like the husbands and boyfriends of the people she is accusing him of sleeping with). This would include her sister's boyfriend. It appears that she was texting my oldest daughters boyfriend on Thursday night, the oldest daughter texted her the next morning which was on Friday asking why, which started and all out war between the two. So, I have my oldest daughter calling me telig me that m youngest daughter needs help, she is bawling, scared to stay at home because she is afraid her sister will show up there. Now in the midst of all this I have been calling gotten the phone number of a mental health clincic and I send the info by text to my youngest daughter who comes unglued...Long story short, I call my hubby and I send him to deal with my daughter at home. I refuse to deal with her.
So that was Friday. Saturday and Sunday were somewhat peaceful. Then on Monday, my oldest daughter who happens to have a few boxes of her belongings at my house wants them right then!! I put them in my car and tell her that I will get them to her. So Tuesday evening rolls around, I'm tired, I don't want to go anywhere after work. So that afternoon the phone starts ringing and she wants to come get her stuff now. She needs it now...needless to say she has been drinking, I try telling her I will bring it to her on Thursday while she is at work or she can come then because her sister won't be at the house, and ofcourse she keeps trying to manipulate me into her coming over or me bringing it to her. I'm getting frustrating and, you guess it, I hand the phone off to my hubby! So he is dealing with her when the other one comes through the kitchen overhears the conversations. She ask who it is and I tell her and she proceeds to start loudly voicing her opinions of her sister. Hubby is fed up, he tells off the one on the phone and then precedes to go deal with the angry one.
So, we have told her that crippled boyfriend must be gone by Tuesday...let's see what happens!
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